Past Pain #65 ©
As previously mentioned, on the Spiritual path things or situations will happen that jerk us back to our prior Past, freezing us in our tracks. I have mentioned several different processes to help get you started again, depending how deep or hurtful or fearful the memory was that attacked you – which is what it really did. First of all, there will always be people, places, or things-situations that will remind us of our Past. No one was raised living in Disneyland, or if your parents were overly protective, you were not that prepared for the real world. Bullies always exist in all arenas, and jealousies raged in junior/senior high school much like they do in our adult life. Yet, that knowledge does not make the situation easier, or more acceptable. Some pain, no matter how much you deep breathe it, talk to yourself, or even examine it to forgive yourself and others involved – still hurts. Some pains also come back to haunt us, period.
Exercise: So lets look at some steps to take to release you of those truly painful pains of the Past. Reoccurring pains come back as there is some definite fear or ego attached, that just wants to hang onto you. As soon as it happened, you need to start examining the situation that brought it back – How was this similar to the original? Who, what, where was/were involved in the original pain? What was your reaction at the time? Was fear involved? Did you at the time talk to, question or confront others involved? Have you since? Even if the people involved are now deceased, you can still speak to them effectively. Have you gone through the Forgiveness Letters – even though not mailed, sometimes more appropriate than doing it in person – including a letter forgiving yourself? Did this pain leave you with a physical reaction – stutter, tick, fear/phobia, etc.? Have you ever had counseling, or talked with someone you trusted with your feelings? Can you accept and believe that you are no longer that person who received this pain? If you can take the time to journal, or write down some of this information with truthful answers, it will help the pain let go. Somehow the process of pen to paper releases so much of our pent-up emotions and painful feelings.
No matter how adult you think you are, when dealing with feelings/emotions do not waste your time to attempt to apply logic to releasing Past hurt/pain. It is simply apples and oranges. Look at Reality TV – how can they become so manipulative, etc. when it is only a game? It is life in a microcosm, and you need to accept that real life is still a game. Or take for instance young star-struck fans who scream, yell or faint. Sure, at 13 we accept it, but what do you call an adult who stalks a celebrity? We certainly cannot see any logic, but there is also truly a lot of emotional feelings being expressed and painfully rejected. Our feelings connect to one another for the best and worse reasons, which does not make them bad or good. It is still better to have the feelings than go through life apathetic. Following and trusting our intuitive feelings is about as close to logic that we can ever expect to get from them. Again, it is better to have real, true feelings we do believe in, than put forth fake ones to please others, or not act as your mother may have said “unacceptable or inappropriate.”
Our emotional feelings are what make us human, so repressing them can take much of our humanness away from us. In extreme cases, people have become sociopaths or even psychopaths, hurting strangers for no apparent reason, or they reminded them of something/someone from their Past. It is healthy to release pain, at least to yourself, if not to another. It is no longer considered a sign of weakness, but of being human. So don’t let the ego keep you bottled up and becoming humorless, rigid or poisoned on the inside. No one goes through life without some pain, yet it is personal and individual. Thus, it is an inadvertent discount when someone haplessly says, “”I know just how you feel.” We want to say, “But, you don’t! It’s my pain and I’m feeling it!” Yet we know they are merely being kind, or trying to make us feel better, or they really are discounting us, because they don’t want to be involved in our problems. If you were walking around smiling or even being blissful all the time, people would definitely call an ambulance, or report you to Human Resources as an itinerant employee about to go ballistic. So, damned if you smile too much, and damed if you don’t cope with it all.
Your painful feelings are a problem in that they are slowing you down from the new life you want to have. Some of these are basic anger, fear, or simply situations which have left you with feelings of inadequacy that are holding you back from success. Knowing the source or root cause of a pain reveals it, acknowledges it, or brings it to light for what it needs to heal it. Truly that light in the previous scary darkness brings enlightenment that often dissolves the power of the pain. It sometimes has to be mentally/visually re-experienced to see it for what it was to no longer have the power over you. Recognizing what kind of pain is triggered to come back to you, is necessary in being able to release or neutralize it from stopping you in your tracks, and impeding your growth. Read the following list – any words that bring a “ping” to your emotions/feelings needs to be written down and thought about: Anger – Clumsy – Disappointment – Dread – Embarrassment – Envy – Fear – Fear of small spaces, heights, water, insects, other – Guilt – Ineptness – Inadequacy – Jealousy – Physical Pain – Sadness – Scared of what – Shame – Too fat/thin – Ugly – Unloved – Unworthy – Worry – What else?
If the source or root of this pain is not immediate, approach it from as many different angles as possible, as you may have buried it really deep. This is like toxic material that has begun to surface, so its removal is the only way to keep it from continually infecting you. Be prepared that once you discover it you may be shocked, for if it was from a really early age, you may now know that it was a misconception or something totally misconstrued like still being angry at an older sibling for telling you Santa wasn’t real. It may also have been something that you overheard, not only not meant for your ears, but not even referring to you – a child overhearing adults referring to a parent who would never find happiness in marriage, but the child took its meaning upon themselves. Some painful feelings may have contributed to habits you developed to counter them – dread may lead to procrastination; ineptness may have lead to being indecisive, so not making a decision you may feel you can’t make any mistakes.
Note: If you have a strong emotional fear of physical pain, you may want to seriously consider professional therapy as the trauma of buried abuse may be ready to come forth. None of these processes are meant to replace professional help in any way, nor will you ever be “pain-free” from your Past situations. What, hopefully, will happen is that you will be able to turn them into small blips, that may cause you to miss a step or two, but then tell yourself – “That was then, and this is now. I am no longer that person.” and continue to move on up. Some pains will be released enough to eventually fade away, and no longer have the affect, or control over you as you have truly grown beyond them. Others may take a retreat of 24 – 72 hours to kind of wallow totally, and thoroughly in that lost Past of pain, or hurtful memories and feelings. This satiation will sometimes give the pain – especially if connected to that child inside you – the love/recognition that it needs before it can let go of you. Yes, there may be screaming, yelling, crying and beating of pillows, but if that is what it takes to be released, then you need to do it. You may also get to know yourself more and better than you ever have before. Afterwards, freer and self-accepting, ask for the presence of Grace to enfold you, and a Golden Light of Forgiveness to surround and fill you, and others involved with the pain of your Past. Be sure to fill that vacant pain spot with Golden Light/Love.
Some pain, as in losing a loved one, some people don’t want to let go of, so they don’t have to return to living life on their own. Even when they feel at fault or guilty for some reason, they can learn to visually move those lost-love feelings to a special corner of their heart and mind. There they can then stroll down memory lane with all the good, happy and personal times they had with that person any time they wish, or need to recall them. That is healthy in that you, the survivor can continue on with life, yet keep that loved one with you. It is important to remember that no one, NO ONE dies before their time – even in disasters, accidents or suicides. Their soul made a contract which they agreed to prior to their birth regarding their death. There is a purpose or reason for how someone dies as to the affect it has on others. Eventually, you will see and accept, that Good ALWAYS comes out of something bad – everything as a lesson. We are ALL One and connected – accept this or not, it is your choice, but it is one of the principles of Metaphysics and Universal Law.
Don’t forget as mentioned before, you may be carrying pain from a Past life or from generations past in this life, that you are not really aware. You may need a good healer who has worked with these situations. Or, your Chakras need a really good clearing/cleansing which pain indicates. Karma, whether from this life or others, can bring in some physical pain in your bones or joints, as that speaks of deep aspects needing to be cleared. The more often that you do Chakra/ energy clearing and other body work, the more you will be capable of warding off any of these Past pains to invade you. This is why regular physical and emotional assessing is so very important.
Exercise II: Forgiveness is also letting go of the attachment of the negative energy of the other person. This then releases that negative energy within yourself. It is that negative energy which makes the pain reoccur within yourself. Depending on how deep this pain is, which either has to do with how long you’ve had it or how powerful the incident. Then the forgiveness may need to be multi-layered, and you will feel a release after each session. Along with that may be visualizing what part of your body is affected most. If you are having a problem finding the part, just concentrate on your heart. See the dark spot dissolved as you release it. Working with deep breathing – Love in – Pain out; Forgiveness in – Pain out; Release in – Fear out; or any other words that feel right to you. Forgiveness is all about love, unconditional towards yourself and all others.
Tags: Past Pain
