Sabotaged Decisions #37 ©
Many of us on the path tend to sabotage ourselves in ways that have kept us comfortably ‘less than‘ who we are, or can be. It basically comes from the ego-minded limitations that needle us almost daily. We get to the very edge of success, and if there is any little doubt or fear, we feed it like a weed taking the nutrients from our soul. We believe from the ego-chatter that we are lacking somehow, but how can that be when there is no lack in the Universe? Ask yourself also, if we are a child of God, how can we be lacking, for God is absolute abundance in all things? Trust yourself that the seeds of your idea or dream was generated by your soul. From this level there is pure love which is your truth, so keep your faith to never give up on your seeds coming into fruition. If you can create it, you can make the intangible, tangible. It is that Self-fulfilling Prophecy of believing “I can do this!” This moment will set you free from your Past, as well as any fear or doubt you have, and propel you forward on your Divine path. Choose your intentions, your behaviors and your words to be based on Love, coming from your heart/soul center, with a deeper understanding of yourself. These feelings are connected to your intuition, so they usually are a good base for making positive decisions.
Exercise: Good decisions cannot be made when you are upset, angry or emotional about something or someone – that’s just basic, common sense. The whole scenario of taking a deep breath or counting to ten is widely accepted to somewhat getting enough of a grip to make a decision, if one is needed. Once you understand what emotion(s) you’re involved with, and where they came from, then you can dissipate or release them according to whose responsibility it is for the emotion. Remember, Anger is a secondary emotion – it doesn’t just happen, something else inside or outside causes it to be reactive. This sounds very adult in handling of the emotion, as that is what you must be with your “self,” in order for the emotion to be released. The important thing is not to bury the emotion – examine it so it can be resolved and released. Buried emotions only fester and come back up again and again. It’s as if they’ve grown or developed a whole larger scenario than what set them off in the first place to sabotage you.
Research has shown that these buried emotions are the base cause of diseases, stress, headaches, etc. Fear or anger may have been added to the repressed emotions, and soon you will feel the drain of all of this turbulent negative energy. Once again, go back through your step process of deep breathing to see understanding of it, and the responsibility of it – yours or the other person – and then let it go. Don’t forget to apply forgiveness to yourself and anyone else involved. Still, you are only concentrating on yourself here – if the other person chooses to hold onto their anger, etc., bless them, let it go and physically move away from them. Then ask yourself, where did this emotion come from in your Past? Understand it, breathe it, bless it and release it. Now, what needs to be changed? If you do not process these emotions you will continue to sabotage yourself – in new and creative ways all the time.
Take “emotional out-bursts or situations” to be opportunities for change, or do you want to keep repeating these scenarios to greater or lesser degrees? Holding on to your emotional pain will hold you back from advancing on your path because you will always have that distraction that limits your clarity for trust and unconditional love. You need to take these things as lessons: the person or thing that pushes our buttons does so because that is their role in our life until we learn the lesson they are helping us with. Through awareness we can learn how to respond differently and let that Karma go once and for all! It truly represents that old adage of having a monkey on your back, or dragging around old baggage from your Past.
I recently went through this at a meeting, and while I was proud of myself for not losing it with another person, it took numerous verbal / written exchanges before I saw that I needed to leave this group. With sheer frustration over the other person’s petty uncooperativeness, I finally saw it had truly served its purpose for me. As well, this other person had no intention of changing, and would always consider me a threat to his position, though I had no interest in it. Part of me felt bad, as the people that were to benefit from my participation in the group would no longer do so. I can only believe that my leaving would simply be another lesson on their own path. I had to do what was best for me to continue forward on my journey, for staying with the group no longer worked for me. For many people this can be similar for a job, relationship or friendship.
When you accept people as they are/choose to be, there will be little resistance in your life. While you may present your opinion, it is just that. Remember it always takes at least two to argue and if you don’t argue, there can be no argument. It has taken me a very long time to get to the point of simply stating what I want to say, and if others choose not to believe or accept it, that is their choice. I am also learning to keep my opinion to myself when I have not been asked, or have simply overheard another’s statement. Unless it involves something life-threatening, I simply let them go on in their ignorance rather than correcting them, as most people resent your opinion anyway.
It requires discipline and a willingness to disengage from old patterns of behavior which create more karma for us. When all flows easily in your life, you know it is coming from your heart and not negatively controlled by that mind-directed ego. Trying to fix someone else’s life is not your job, and they will eventually resent you for your efforts. If someone wants to talk, fine – listen. It doesn’t mean that you have to fix things for them, or tell them how you would handle it all. And, if they don’t want to talk, then you accept that also without attachment to their actions or decisions – it is their life. Some people really only want a wall to bounce, or echo their problems off of, it helps them to see solutions for themselves. No one really wants a band-aid unless they are truly bleeding.
While sometimes the gut-action is necessary, for peace of mind a well thought out and informed plan is best followed. It is good to also, for some things, have a Plan B to fall back on if needed. I sometimes feel like most of my life has been lived from Plan B, as being open to change does that to you. Even with the best information, mistakes do happen, and you are still accountable for them. Always admit any mistakes immediately, as people will support and respect you taking the necessary action to correct them, rather than blaming on others or denying it. If you can’t live a day without some rationalization, then you may want to question why you are on the path to begin with.
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